I saw The Good Girl yesterday. It was one of those movies that made you think perhaps someone had been paying attention to your heart, to your thoughts and probably, to your journal. So much it reflected my feelings, the will to run away, to adventure and to escape reality.
The basis of it was good enough, when the "lover" started to crazy, I sort of lost interest. But I loved her soliloquy, next time I'd tape it and watch it my dark hours--which are plenty if you've been paying attention.
The weekend is over. Whenever it starts on Friday you feel invincible, like the 2 days of now work is just too wonderful and you can't wait to make use of all that me time. By Saturday night, you wonder what you've done with the first half of it so far. I woke up early today because I wanted to finish up the work I started but couldn't get to do over the week because I was training and being trained. I got to work at least 2 hours earlier on a Satuday, that is I swear the hardest thing to do. This "promotion" is turning me into the person who just quit.
I do not know why I am not one of those people who looks forward to going into work. Are there people like that, or is it my imagination, I am sure in some fraction of this earth, there are people who feel like spending countless hours at work and just can't wait to get into the swing of things day after day, week after week, year after year. They actually do not believe they get paid to do what they do, it is that much fun. I am not one of those people.
This is not me being ungrateful for what I have, it's just me being pressured to be good at what I do which is the complete opposite of me so because of that I do not feel like me, thus I dread being this other person day after day, week after week, year after year. In Pretense.
I am going to search for some amusement on the web, at least I still have 24 hours to be this Anita, let me make the best of it as I can.
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