it is my life

I haven't written in a while because it hasn't been good at all.

Work has been the shits and I've been so afraid to write it in here. My boss and the other attorney actually had one of those sit down let us shit you out talks with me and since then, maybe it is my paranoia, but things have not been so good at all. I keep seeing everyone gather together, whispering to themseleves, involved in gist that doesn't concern me. And I just think maybe they are waiting it out before they gently let me go away from this misery into more misery. It's been trying and to the extent I do not know what to feel, good, bad, or just scared, disappointed in my self, something that I felt, I was so cold when it all happened that I missed my writing class on Wednesday and I have felt as if I am walking on pins and needles ever since.

My brother came. I feel bad that he is seeing me go through all this. But his visit is helping me get through this. He's spent sometime with me at home and it's been good for me. But when the week runs out and I know he is going back soon and I am going to have to continue with this panic, it scares me.

I shan't talk too much about it. Let me end it here, I just hope it gets better.

Lord please let me have a good week, let thy powers of thine enemy, the tools that they have fashioned against me, let it be destroyed by your Holy Grace O lord! I ask that you shall teach me patience and humility and I ask that you teach me perserverance even when the instruments are trying. I ask that you protect and make me strong against anything that shall be set before me. I pray that your mercy and miracles prevails over all else. Amen!