There are so many bits and pieces of my thoughts that I want to put on here. But whenever I log on I lose the inspiration or I am rushing to read my email and do a whole bunch of other stuff I really shouldn't be doing online.
I did it to myself 3 nights in a row this weekend. And my face looks like it's glowing. My breakouts cleared and the tenseness vanished. I was actually nursing a smirk. Can you imagine if it was the real thing...but I doubt the real thing can go three nights in a row and achieve excellent results every time. I never think about him when I am doing that, I think other things, bad things, he is the good part of me, the calm reflective side, even if his face, his eyes come into my thoughts for a second while I am at it, I just try to block it away so it wouldn't ruin the mood. Seriously. He is the good side, the angelic side of me. Maybe that's why this feels different. The fact that it is not sexual at all. More like medication.
However back to the thoughts I want to write down. I have made a list of them. Tidbits from his interview in Details, Quentin's interview in Rollingstone, Lucy liu's interview in Jane, and just my general dysfunctional thought process.
Last night to get me into the spirit of Shelia and everything else in between I tried to read some of my old stuff. I just couldn't. I got bored and went on the web to surf for gossip. Why do I get bored with my own story when I should be its no. 1 advocate. If I get bored think what the general population feels like.
I shall write these stuff down someday before it becomes stale thought process. I shall write it.
We shall talk again, I promise.
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