the week that should have been

By all intents and purposes this would have been a good week.

I was in Boston for the early part of the week. I got to hang out with my good/oldest friend Kiki, we did a lot of fun girly things. I went to H&M for the first time in 5 years. I could have done more shopping if I wasn't on such a tight budget. Maroon 5 won a Grammy. The show was brilliant. I got my $30 instant rebate check back. I also got paid. My online friend sent me a mixed CD. Then, my Maroon 5 concert tickets arrived yesterday. Most importantly, Keanu's new movie in a year comes out this weekend.

Everything that would possibly make this a good week for me were in place. In another time, it would have just been fantabulous. Who's to say it isn't. Except, I don't have a job yet. I don't have any callbacks for any interviews, no one is wowed by my resume, and I haven't read a thing because I have spent every waking hour agonizing and hurting, and obsessing over why it is so hard to get what you want and hold out for that thing that you want. And why no one is wowed by my resume. Hmmmm....

I went to bed recounting all the good things, cried some more. I have cried so much this week, the neighbors must think I am suffering from a bad break up or something. However, I had good dreams. Really good dreams. I dreamt Adam and the guys were performing some private shows for me. And I got to ride with them in the bus and ask them all sorts of stupid private stuff. Now that I am awake I can't even think of all the stupid questions I asked and they answered. I remember recounting when the fascination began, and how I prefer the live version of Sunday Morning, apart from that nothing else.

So I feel a little better. Before the axe came down, I was besieged by bad dreams. They mostly contained fights with me and my boss, etc. But with this good dream, I feel like a weight has been lifted. And I really should concentrate on my studies. That's it. I can't promise that I won't cry but I promise that I shall look on the bright side of things. God has blessed me with good things, except a job, and hopefully that will come to be soon.