I forgive them for what they did

I got two presents at work today. So far all the attorneys gave me presents for Xmas and I gave them nothing, not even a Xmas Card. I feel bad because I know it is not my nature, but that was just the way the cookie crumbled this year.

So in the words of my good friend: I forgive them for what they've done to me throughout the year. How I have slowly been demoted and become something like an image of myself and my dreams. But it's all forgiven. It's all okay.

I was reading through my old journal entries and realized how important this journal is to me. It gives an account of my year thus far and let's me know what consumed thoughts at every point in time. Last year, I know what I was thinking about and when I read this journal by this time next year, I shall know exactly what was going through my mind. Hopefully, it will be so much more. So much better, so much closer to that "halfway house in time."

A few random things:
I finally got ink for my printer/scanner, 4 months after it ran out, and it cost a pretty penny I can tell you that. Now I don't know what pictures I wanted to scan, it seems so unimportant right now. Maybe because I lost the use of my domain so I am a little heartless right now.

The books for arbitration and tax law, cost about 120 a piece. The story of my life, nothing is ever easy. Where will the money come from? Why do I even bother with the studying when I spend my day being the "file-fetcher."

I normally do like a year end summary of movies, music, and just my life in general tidbits and put it in here. This year should be no exception. I hope I get to do it.

Enough about Gavin but just one more: It's surprising that I haven't felt the need to write a story about him, or anything that inspirational like I did this time last year when I went through my Adam phase. Why haven't I? Hmm...I don't know.

He seems like such a struggling young man, and I feel for him from my heart deeply. I feel like the world needs to take notice of him. He is one artist that if he becomes as big as Usher, I shall want nothing less for him. (If he has his own religion so to speak). He needs some kind of movement, maybe a little more sex appeal, perhaps may do the trick.

Listening to his interviews you can tell there was a search there, a pursuit for a career in music and how much joy it gives him and he works real hard to harness his craft. It just seems sad that he never really exploded, the way I had hoped. He is such a talent and he is just plucking away. He did interviews in stations I would never have thought about, that are so small and have such little target audience, and he belted those tunes out on cue each time. And still Chariot Stripped sold only 21,000 in its debut week. Sad, isn't it. It will happen. Just like my dream to work for that human rights organization, the UN, work as a photographer, write screenplays for movies, just write, and everything else I aspire to do. It will happen, we can only believe, and keep enjoying it. Just like he said, he gets so much joy from music unlike anything else. Better than sex, I assume. I don't know. There are a couple of things for me that are better than sex, though I cannot think of one right off the top of my head right now. It isn't all that. But it's good no less. I digress.