Sometimes when I listen to you I feel like crying, and at times I have cried. It's been like this for two weeks now. Every time you come on in the car, on the computer, in my head, in my sleep, even when I cannot sleep, I cannot think, I cannot write, I just think, and imagine, and sadden softly and sometimes, the tears fall, and sometimes they do not, sometimes I hold strong, but then, there's your voice, that face, that smile, that look, and my mind keeps having these images, of things that I could only hope to happen to me, that may not, that now do not seem so impossible, because I got my one second, the brief time, the moment, and then, it's almost time for tears.
What brings about a transition in this life, when we go from one place to another so fast that we do not know what to do, how to stop it or how it came about or where it would lead. Nothing that I used to do before this makes sense anymore. I feel like running away from myself, from this state the transition has put me because nothing I did before this makes sense, not in the knowing, the absence of so much knowledge was bliss, so much now, so many tears let loose, not that much creativity, nothing else makes sense. I have become this child, so in touch with a certain part of me, 'like a bird onto a tree' holding, believing, trusting. But why the tears? Why now? What is this all supposed to mean? What?
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