Shh...stop talking, please don't speak. All I want to do is screw you slowly until my head spills open and then maybe, maybe we can talk after. Okay."
Yes. I had another interesting situation with Kaui yesterday. Am I consoling myself to think that maybe he likes me? *looks around* Yes, indeed I am.
We spoke for a very long time. I told him I wanted to train as a bartender and he started to laugh at me, and then...our bodies collided cos I hit him you know in that playful way you hit someone when they are making fun of you, and he seemed to enjoy it. This conversation lasted for a while, before work, after work, in his office, alone again. I just went in there, and shut the door behind me. I heard him say an, "Oher...what have I done now?" "Done, nothing, it's the omission to do that hurts me. Trust me sweetie, if I could tie you to that chair and do you I will." And then in between he grabs something from in front of me and his zipper rubs up against my hand, ( don't ask me how, cos' I swear I can't quite remember, all I know is that it happened and I moved back slightly, whatever for, I don't know) I know I'm hallucinating again.
The long and short of this is, I still didn't tell him anything. We talked, a lot of stuff about work, nothing about our personal lives. And then I left...missing him. Today I watched him work from across the food court and then I told my coworker friend, that I had a crush on him. He just looked at him and laughed. Like it's funny.
The last time I had this crush and this kinda burning sensation for a man, yes, we did get around to it, and yes, it was just a "kicking it" relationship, and yes, I happened to fall head over heels for him hurting myself in the end. And sometimes I think, maybe I just want to screw Kaui, get it out of my system, but maybe, sometimes he gets on my nerves so much when I'm working with him that I feel like biting his head off, and then I'm stuck asking myself, "You sure you like this guy?" and then, when I am not around him I am pining for him. Beats me why that happens.
I shall miss working with him tomorrow. Why because I am not going to work tomorrow, some strange jinx happened and my nieces have a virus and so they have to stay home. My sister has an appointment so by elimination that leaves me. I don't mind missing work, I just mind missing Kaui since I won't get to see/work with him again until next Friday. Hmmm....
Do you think I should tell anyone else that works there how I feel about him?
Look at me asking my diary questions?
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