Yes! It is official...Kaui is engaged!

I haven't heard it from the horses mouth but from someone else that works there. Only she didn't say it quite as succintly as the first person that mentioned this to me sometime in December. The first person merely said, he was getting married soon, and then I waited, December came, January, Valentines, etc, and I didn't see any wedding ring on his finger so I launched forward with my hopeless advances but since this other lady said it, I am sure there's some element of truth lurking in there.

Or I might console myself to say that maybe it is a hoax to ward off all the female advancement from all the countless women, including I, who hit on him. But then, I would be living in a fool's paradise, wouldn't I?

I really feel so unloved right now. Not just about the whole "engaged" thing--liking someone and fate never makes it so they like you back---but from having to ask God for the same miracles over and over and over. It just feels like overkill, like He doesn't love me as much as I would believe He does, or I am not His child anymore for some strange reason. His child whom He promised never to forsake or depart from in my hour of need. I just feel like 10 years from now, will I still be doing this, be like this, alone, frustrated, and lonely, and still waiting on His miracle, Will I?


I have to be at work tomorrow...I hope I get to work with him if for nothing else just to see him...tell him thank you for supporting me through that day. Somehow that phone call with him on Monday just made all the difference to me, it made me feel like it wasn't so bad, and that he wanted to listen. I'll never forget his voice saying, "Thanks for calling in okay, and bye honey."

That was sooo sweet, no one's called me that in a long time. I kinda wished that was what it was.