what have I been up to?
I am so tired now, I just decided to nip out to tell you all about the most refreshing day I've had in a long time. You know I often or not report on the bad bews so this time let me say something good.

I went to work in the "Kaui" establishment today.

I don't think he was there to work officially because he had on a face-cap and did everything to avoid me, and I did pretty much the same, pretending like I didn't notice his fine ass. All I really wanted to say was thanks--thanks for just being him---and if possible squeeze in a hug. I felt he helped me get over the transition well, and he deserved to be thanked. I don't know how I'm gonna thank him, I'll probably wait until Tuesday to do that, I guess or call maybe. But that was it in the House of Kaui.

I know I am just fooling myself with him and in the end I may end up hurt (or fired for making advances towards my boss) eventually, sometimes I wonder why does life present us with all these chances knowing we may eventually fail. I for one, know I've taken several chances on love and come up short, so it just leaves this one sort of a tongue twister, should I try this one last time and see if this may be the one? I don't know. I'd really like to have chance to make him my friend though just because I enjoy talking with him mostly. I don't know *deep sigh*

But I deviate. Before I went into work I went to Best Buy and finally picked up a sound system to go with my room in the new house, it felt so good actually paying for something that cost more than a $100 knowing you have the money for it. I was in such a good mood, I threw in the new Celine Dion CD and Brandy's Full Moon CD to launch the system with. Celine's A New Day Has Come sounds off like the beginning of my life as of now. It is so rejuvenating.

Everything just seems so clear to me now. I went into my old job to pick up my last check. My boss that fired me found it hard to even look at my face. In fact no one was looking at my face, you'd think I'd lost my means of livelihood or something. Is that how people are down here, everyone steps on pins and needles when one of them gets fired, geez! It's not like I was planning to stay there forever, in the end I know God did me a big favor. No more of that crummy uniform, the horrid 70's music that repeats even in your sleep *rolls eyes* and that Lady Macbeth acting all tyrannical around me with her sonorous voice. Fuck them! That's what my bartender said when I told him what happened, he was like, Fuck off, I never needed you anyway. Then, the lady at administration apologizes completely, saying she would hate to see me go. I'm like, yeah whatever, you're lucky this is atlanta and I don't have my Bar certification yet, hell I wouldn't take that job if you paid me.

Then, I called my sister to come pick me up from work, and she out of the blues (she never does anything out of the blues if you know her she is like on a time chart of her own) decided that we should all go to the movies tonight. I was more than happy to indulge her. I have been longing to watch Panic Room and she wanted the kids to see Ice Age so we synchronized it and yes, it happened.
That movie is just amazing, that is how I want my dream Manhattan apartment to be. All those floors, all that space, it was a good house.

So as we're standing in the line about to get popcorn, I just become suddenly overcome with this rush of happiness (if you know me, you would know that never happens) it was soo good, I was smiling, lifted out of my socks and elated at everything. Being there, living life, the turn of events, the fact that I could still afford to pay my cellphone bill even though I have lost my job, just something blew me away.

I nudge my sister and tell her, "I am so refreshed." And she replies, "You should be, it's Easter and thank goodness you're not stuck in that crummy mall in that crummy job all day." And it was so true. It's Easter, and I have a whole Friday to myself to do as I please, which includes watching a movie on its opening day like fellow young women like myself do. I just need to complete my life with 2 essential things now, one of which is a man/mate/companion/friend and I am complete...like a new day has/is coming for me.

I got this new job that is like almost a walking distance from my house. The woman to my shock and dismay hired me on the spot, and the hours are ever so convenenient for a car-less person like myself, their food is fantastic and I am just overjoyed about it.

*knocking on wood* This would be a better place for me to be, it's a bigger restaurant, the guys that work there are cuter, and the people there didn't try to pretend to be nice which shows they don't put up pretenses around there, it's just basically do your shit and get out. That is what I love about it...


I just need my 2 essential things and I can stop bugging the life out of you all with my depressing shit. But trust me, I do feel good, and it feels semi-nice to feel this good and accomplished for a change.

And Jessicamoore (on Diary-x) if you're reading thank you for directing me to your journal, signng my guestbook, and just thanks, for everything I am not, I try ti fill in with good people like you who direct me to the wise words of our Saviour Jesus Christ...to Him be the glory, now and forever.


Amen.