Update on a whole lot of things:

1) My phone still hasn't rung once. It is far more than upsetting, it is now humiliating and disconcerting. Every night when I go to bed I promise not to think about it all day, to just let the bad feelings go, to breathe and somehow, some strange way, it will ring. When I wake up the next day, no matter how late I do, I find that it still hasn't rung.

2) What's worse is that my horoscope declared my work week a C. This is far more upsetting because the last couple of weeks were called a B and see how they turned out. I almost cried last week, twice. In fact I did cry, on one occasion and 2ice I found myself forcing back tears. There has to be something I plan on, I pray on and I hope for that would give way and say, OKay this is the day I shall come to be. The apartment people I spoke to last week, have hiked up their price about a hundred dollars more. I could have bitch slapped the girl over the phone.

3) I really should get back to writing. It may help me get over this fever I have. This phobia of not being good at anything, waiting for the forsaken phone to ring. It may just help me stop thinking about the fucking economy and just kick back in my make-bleieve bullshit world. Keanu chronicles may just be revived. My website may just come along with it just for the ride.

4) I went for an open house interview last week with Archstone. I messed up big time. I can't even begin to tell you how many mistakes I made. I asked good questions. I always do but I didn't explain my present job and goals any better. As I was walked out at the end of the interview, the chap kept going, okay, so we'll definitely give you a call. Which is what they always say. If they would "definitely" how come my phone isn't ringing? And then they hand me all these memorabilia about their office. A cup holder, mints, a pen and a tee shirt. Looking at them reminds me of how stupidly I messed up. I gave them all away, all except the mints.

5) And lastly, I am going to start exercising. I have made up my mind. I am slowly moving into 1X category, I swear. I tried on a sze 16 pair of pants at the Gap and they couldn't fit me at all. Isn't that a problem? A quarter of my wardrobe is what I can fit into right now. The rest have all been shrunk sized by my overweight body.

Wish me luck on that one, and on a whole bunch of things which I have decided to do. Ooops! the phone just rang,m it's the fucking telemarketers, I swear I am going to hurt somebody soon over the phone if they don't get my number out of their calling list.

I hate to end on this sour note but life gives me no choice.