couple of things to say

I am feeling very tired after the whirlwind day I've had and I should go to bed but there is a racket going on upstairs, so I shan't fool myself that I can get any sleep if I lay my head down right now.

I just had a couple of things to talk about really, I felt this was place was deserving of a proper update since I've been away for quite a bit.

I spent about $57 tonight entertaining myself. Imagine me trying to spoil myself rotten, it's just insane the way I spend money. Not to bore you with such stupid mundane details but I just felt it was worthy of mention because of certain reasons

1) My sister and the family are out of town on her anniversary which happens to be today --and idiotic me failed to call and wish her that. This is the first time since I moved here some 4 years ago that she's gone on vacation, everyone of my family is out of GA, and I seem to be the only one here. That is a daunting thought. The good part is, I am now on my own, not tagging along like I often have.

2) I guess because she decided to spoil her self I decided to do the same though on a much smaller, more selfish scale. and besides it's payday weekend. I have 10 days to be broke, and for the first couple of days after payday I can spend carelessly.

I took myself to see Love Actually today. Brilliant, brilliant movie I can't say enough about it. One of those movies that makes you wish Ke was in it to make it brighter, more eye candy but I trust the Hugh fans must have found it wonderful. I did even though I am not a fan. It was a good movie, and I almost cried, in a good way, not the melancholic way as in Matrix Revolutions, but in the "I can't believe love is really all around us" way, and I ask, if it is, what happened to me?

I found myself wondering today the fact that in my entire life, no one's ever had a crush on me. No one's ever wanted me, really wanted me and admired me from afar. You'd say how would I know, well, if you want someone long enough, they'd know. It's like staring at a sleeping person, with time, they wake up, if you love someone that much from a distance, with time they'd know, if they'd love you back is a whole other story....but perhaps. For me, it's never happened.

It's always been vice versa. Me loving them, hopelessly, stupidly, unreachable, impossible people...but never one single person loving me.

Hmmmm....

I just thought I'd throw that out there in case anyone wonders why I am often melancholic....NOW YOU KNOW ONE OF THE REASONS.

We'll talk again. I promise.