I'm going to do something I haven't done here on the blog in a while. I'm going to talk about my country Nigeria and their, ahem, dating practices so to speak.
But first, I must warn you, somewhat explicit (totally gross) content below.
In Nigeria, when you ask a guy, co-worker or whatnot how was his weekend? He casually responds: "Oh, it was fine. Had some friends over. Ended up having a 3some." He would drop that so casually like he went to rotate his tires or something. That's how flippant they are about sex. For such a religiously veiled society you wonder why would that even be the order of the day. Who does that?
The other guy I know, he meets a girl, starts dating the girl. Meets her friend and then switches from the girl to her girlfriend and starts sleeping with her girlfriend, and he expects the girl to be A-Ok with it. Like it is okay? And he says, "Well, I never promised the girl anything." I see. But you could curtail your longing (or attraction and subsequent sexing) for her friend at least until you had ended things respectfully with the girl. That's what intelligent, respectful people do.
I went on to complain to a relative about the frequency of the 3somes, he remarked that this was minor. Really? In comparison to what, I squealed. He had co-workers who used to put contributions together to organize weekly orgies just to "liven" things up. They would ask each other casually on Friday if they had any plans, and if no concrete plans emerged they would put their money together and set up an orgy. The money would pay for the venue (someone's guest house probably), the booze, food and the girls. This is how they spend their weekend, almost every weekend. How is this fun?
But this is sadly the face of Nigeria now. It's either explicit sexual practices or they engage in indiscriminate sex where they switch sexual partners so easily without consideration for emotions, respect, marital status, anything at all. No promises are made so no hearts should be broken in the course of their conquest.
In what culture is this acceptable? The only time I heard such stuff in America was from a certain culture, a culture of the "Honey Boo Boo" kind. I didn't even hear this mentioned so casually in Vegas or Miami. I'm sure even in Amsterdam, this is not the order of the day. You also don't expect to hear it from the educated, middle class culture. There are certain ways of doing things.
I just find myself so alienated. On one hand, they want to be "private" and "coded" - and now I know why, gosh, the stuff they do will make your ears bleed. But on the other hand, they shriek every time you mention anything about sex. I've been announcing on Facebook how I want to see Magic Mike XXL when it premieres. And I have only 3 ladies, yes 3, who've agreed to go with me. Can you imagine? These are the same people who engage in 3somes like it's a yoga class. "Oh, Anita what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to a hot yoga class. Then, went to see Magic Mike XXL. Not a 3some! A hot yoga class." That's what people should be doing. Or cycling! Or prepping for a marathon!! Or trying out a new restaurant's cuisine!!! You know, A HOBBY!!!! I'm just appalled. I bet you if I open a hot yoga studio here no one would come. Why? Cos they'd prefer 3somes instead. It's more fun, and works up more sweat. Pitiful.
I'll just like to contrast this with my experience with a nice couple in America. I had met this couple at one of my apartment shindigs. Young, white professional couple. We instantly made friends because they thought I was funny and good company. As the lady showed me her apartment, she said she was excited for the weekend. Hmmm...why? Well, they would be doing something different, something adventurous. I see, and what can that be? They would both be participating in a PUB CRAWL. She said she hoped her boyfriend would not wimp out on her and change his mind as she was really looking forward to it. That's how exciting people get over there. No invitations to participate in a 3some, no lewd requests from me, nothing. They just wanted to drink loads of beer on a Saturday.
Sadly, the above represents Africa now. Forget everything else you hear in the news. This is who we are. We don't have hobbies and we (casually) engage in sex as a pastime. We work real hard to make money and then, we use sex as our hobby. Other hobbies may exist, but sex takes preference.
In this kind of society I would say, it is advisable to be single, don't you think?
--Anita Writes steps off soap box.
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