Hindsight is 100/100

When God finally reveals to you why certain relationships or engagements didn't work out, it;s always so astonishing to me. I almost feel like going up to God to give Him a huge hug as whisper thank you in His ears. 

At the time you were so immersed in the relationship or engagement, wanting it so much - it seemed like the best thing ever. You planned and hoped it would work out, prayed, fasted, begged God in every way imaginable to make this see the light of day and it just couldn't happen. At that point it seemed like God was letting you down almost. And as the relationship crumbled, you slowly saw pieces of it just frazzle right in front of you, you didn't relent, you still kept on begging and pleading and trying to see the sense in the sand as to why "Oh gosh, why is this not making one lick of sense?" You've done everything. Things just don't seem to be falling in place. For me...at times, the prayer even makes stuff worse. "You wonder God what did I ever do to You to cause You to ignore me like this?" God is probably just sitting there smiling, thinking, "Honey chile...quit worrying...I got this."

Needless to say, Trouble is not doing too well. After listening to him talk for 3 hours straight about how "unwell" he's doing, I thought..."Wow so that's what that whole thing was all about? Thank you God."

At that time, he had clearly "won" as I like to put it. He was the definite leader, the cat who had found the milk and was enjoying licking himself in front of the other hungry cats. And there was me, the sad Nigerian girl...who had taken a chance on love once again just to have it disintegrate. I remember how that broke me into a thousand pieces that I struggled to find myself, who I am and what my belief meant to me and why had it disappointed me when I needed it the most. Even though I am not exactly winning on life right now...but I have one less problem to deal with, and one less out of a thousand makes all the difference. 

God, if you're listening...I now believe one day this will all make sense. Now, I'm just gonna stop. Wait. And let You do the rest. 

And thank you for saving me from that one. ;-)