It's been a while, hasn't it?

I lost my nerve and I decided since Blogger wasn't going to add me to their stupid update page no matter how many times I do update, then I would try to update only when I have something to say.

I had a little aggro with Fate some days ago. I was upset that certain events had defaced our lives and left us with remnants of hope. For example Sept. 11th. Life was soo good before all that happened. Now life seems so unsettling. It has recently been made worse with other tragedies like the discovery of Anthrax and the deaths of poor postal workers. How many more people have to die before we realise...enough is enough, and we really should calm the fuck down and get along. The God that made us thought we could get along, how come we can't?

My sister's best friend's husband died on Wednesday. More sorrow reaching close to home. It's all so numbing.

I sometimes close my eyes and try to imagine I am somewhere else. That's how I get through the day. I try to imagine that I am somewhere where there's peace and I am laughing; one of those full hearty laughs that comes from deep down and reaches out to everyone around you, touching them and arousing them to laugh with you. But when I open my eyes...I am still here. Still numb, still unsettled, and still very empty. Wanting so many things, seeking so many as well. When will this closure come?

Right now, my sister is out of town, so I have the kids for the weekend. I am wondering what I can cook for Sunday Brunch. I am not very skilled in the Continental Food category. Where I come from food was made to be greasy and spicy and filling, filled with starchy content. But here it is basically otherwise. I have settled on beef fried rice, but a moment ago it was Spaghetti with meatballs until I remembered I had no idea how to make meatballs.

I know I will have a happy update sometime. In other news, I got my mobile phone on Thursday. Perhaps I should have reported that. But no one calls me so it is still a bit under-utilized. The fun factor is yet to set in. I should give it a couple of weeks though, then I can drop my number for all those cute guys I bump into at the mall.