The Problem With Tests

I hate to be the bearer of bad news once in awhile but today is a bit shitty.

Remember the tests I ran about three weeks ago that had me broke (still broke) to bits. I call them today to inquire about them. The first one was okay. Then I moved on to the dreaded question.

"What was the result on the HIV test?"

"Ehmm...hold on one second."

The line goes blank, my heart is beating, I am put on hold for another five minutes while I search my mind and wonder do I have AIDS or what? I shouldn't have done this test, I am the healthiest person I know, it's better not to know than to find out and it's bad.

She comes back on the line....

"Well, ma'am, you can come in here and pick up the result but I cannot tell you over the phone."

Ouch. That hurt. If it were good she could have told me over the phone, don't you think? Or am I jumping into conclusions here. I am the healthiest person I know, I cannot have AIDS!

"Can you put it in the mail?" I figure if it's bad news I am better of looking at it in my car than in some doctor's office, what if I can't drive home after looking at it?

"Sure."

I go on to give her my address and she laughs when she realizes I actually live close by. It's not funny, tell me do I have it or not?

Now, I cannot concentrate. I cannot. I think so I am gonna die of this disease and never get to do all the things I've wanted to do. Of course, you know this puts a damper on my libido right now and I am just dull, cranky and chewing every single person's head off in the office. I suppose I'll get it by Friday so it's 48 hours of hell while I await the results of my life.