If I had Keanu's Money

For the longest time I have been lamenting about several things:

1) Paying off my credit cards so I can take a vacation in the summer time (when I turn 30) to California.
2) Buying a camera so I can take pictures as a hobby.

So far none of these are working out.

I was so close to both. I had used my bonus money to do option 1, as opposed to option 2 which would have been a better bet because I really need that camera NOW, because photography classes start first week in february. But the credit cards had been paid down considerably until...yesterday.

I decided to go to the hospital to get a check-up, my first check-up since I moved here 4 or so years ago. I decided to do that for several reasons, the weight loss thing, the age thing, and the recent you know what. Without insurance that cost $200. Yes, $200 for a pap smear and yet the hospital I went to treated me like a step-child, I can tell they don't appreciate private patients at all. The doctor didn't offer her card or ask me to call her from time to time if I have any medical issues, etc.

It's time I got insurance, I can see that. The only reason I didn't get it is because I am blessed (knocking on wood) not to have those kind of illnesses that require a doctor's care. I get the usual common cold, cough, etc, across the counter medication takes care of that easily but I never like pass out or just have dizzy spells, etc, stuff that requires serious prescription medication.

So now, I am far from my dream of doing both. Since I work in bankruptcy it is so hard to imagine myself in debt. For the first time since I moved out on my own I was late with my cable bill (I know bad girl, aye) and my phone bill was sent just before xmas so bellsouth got it late and charged me a late fee (I should make noise about it but I am not, it serves me right). I just don't want to feel as if I am reaching the end of my rope somewhat with the late bills and dashed dreams creeping in slowly.

That is all. I am sure the regular scheduled programme is more fun than this rollercoaster.