hey,
I didn't go to work this evening. I was supposed to be at my other job, the one in which I have my muse, the one in which this is my last weekend. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was fine when I went to work last night and came down and wrote in here, I was fine when I drove to work waay too early and sat in my car meditating, all through that I was fine. I think it was in between the time my boss brought an MIT to train with me that I kinda lost the verve to do anything, or just feel anything. I went numb, carried a frown all through the day and I just slumped into this pity party and it has been that way since.

So avoiding any further complications for myself, I quickly called the other job and gave out my shift. Can you imagine, Moi who begs for extra shifts giving out one?

Then, I ran to watch the new Vin Diesel movie...XXX after work. It was good, it didn't cheer me up though. I guess I lost the verve for the movie when I realised that there was a 3month old baby in the seat next to me so I couldn't moan for Vin as much as I wanted to, and most of all, I realized the dumb ass movie was rated PG 13, who wants to see Vin in a PG anything movie with a XXX title, what the fuck? I almost cried that I couldn't get my money's worth out of it.

So here I am home alone, because I think everyone left the house to go somewhere (hopefully not to watch XXX), sipping a stale Foster's and text messaging my crush (who suprisingly gave me the correct phone number). Foolish, foolish I am.

I am still burned out though. I wnet shopping and even that didn't help. The mext strategy, my hair. Maybe, getting it done will lift my spirits, that and cut tape of Vin's naked body I was so deprived of. I think it's mainly all this career change talk I've been in for the past couple of weeks that has had me shriveled and dried up of any simple thoughts. i am 28 so i need a more civilized job, i can't keep on ushering people to their seats all my life, there has to be something better for me to do with my life, isn't there?