Every time I spend time with my family, my nieces, my mum and just the whole lot of them, it just reminds me more of why I felt the need to move out, completely away from them so prematurely and with so much pleasure.
I know this may seem like a terrible thing to say about one's family but truly, you've never met mine. They simply drive me crazy. My sister's kids make you consider taking kids out of the picture of your life. My mum is just domineering and controlling. My aunty who is here temporarily just does not have a clue about anything. And then, my sister, I cannot say enough about her, but I shall just illustrate by shaking my head.
It just gets so overwhelming and tiring when I am with them, and simply put disaster is not too far away.
My sister called me some days ago and said she wants me to spend the day with my mum and the kids since I have not seen them in a while. Yes, it's true it's been two weeks since I've seen them and I was not egging to go. So, we decided that it shall be today--Saturday. I wake up today, thinking they shall be in my house any minute, and my mum calls and says, you were supposed to come pick us up not the other way around. I am like fuck, I don't want to step out of the house today, I am too tired and it's a weekend. I pick them up eventually and the rest of the day was so horrendous I shan't talk about it too much lest I read this days later and it brings back bad memories.
I sometimes feel lonely and in need of someone to share my stories with, or to just chat with but when they come around it's so much chaos and trying to stop the kids from breaking stuff or dropping stuff, or just causing a racket that in less than 10 minutes you think, it is time for you all to leave. I need my fucking peace of mind. Thats what I came here for, that's what I live here for.
This is not right? It's not.
No comments:
Post a Comment