I just wanted to say thanks to anyone who bothered to read about my lovey dovey gibberish from yesterday. It means a lot to me.

I agree with all what you guys had to say.

Sometimes I feel I lack the nerve to boldly go after things like these that I actually want. If you've been reading this, can you remember my boss that I had a crush on some months ago of which the chemistry was to my observation very intense, whom convienently got a transfer so he no longer works with us.

I remember when I liked him so much and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. In my mind, I suspected he liked me too. I actually remember our last conversation when I told him that I would miss him and he mumbled, "aww that's sweet," there was nothing I could do except watch him slip away. I just think this time around, I CAN do something about it.

Though each time I feel these things there is something always working against my favor. (the first time it was the boss factor, now it's the age factor) I just feel why am I wasting time when there is so much I can be exploring with my self, and my passions and my body. (the horny mind speaks)

The important thing is I feel this urge and it is strong, and it bothers me that for the second time, I can't do anything about it.

Yesterday, as I was flashing my new drivers licnece to my friend at work, he crept up besides me and grabbed it from my hand, immediately his eyes fell on the birthdate (darn it?!) and he squeaked..."that's my older brother's age" I felt the earth fall down and swallow me at that point. I guess that was strike one. He had asked me before how old I was and I never told him having him find out was just...ouch!

But I shan't force it. If the gods see it as the chance to get my cobwebs cleared and removed, so shall it be. One can't force these things unless we'd turn into stalkers.

I'll try to fill you in as the days go by.