Last night, I called Ryan at my other job to tell him the girl I had been trying to hook him up with was going to be there today. He stupidly calls my house back at 10:30. Normally, this might not be a bad move except everyone goes to bed at my house at 9:00. My bro-in-law was livid. I was amused and wondering what they would say to me the next day...which was today.

Today, my mum wakes up and starts going on about the whole marriage talk. She starts by saying she had a dream in which I brought someone to her, my ex-boyfriend actually and I was all over him, introducing him as my fiance. Then, she rounds up by asking who it was that called last night. I tell her, it was my friend, and narrate how upset everyone was that he called that "late". She refutes the fact that it was late, repeating Ryan's words coincidentally. The day was just a pup, how late really is 10:30. Then, she links that to her lecture on getting a date which I classify in my mind as operation get laid first before we get a man. She goes on and on about how I can get dates from the singles meetings in our church, that there are lots of eligibles in there. Whenever we have this talk, it makes me feel old, and nearing the pith of frustration. It makes me think, am I truly devoid of all youthfulness that I have to take advice from my mother about where to get a date? Then, I stare at my youthful face in the mirror for hours wondering when the late 20-something bitterness will set in then I walk around with a mopey look on my face all damn day.

IN the end, her conversation succeeded. To top it off, my sister calls me during the day asking me why the guy had called me for a "booty call." And I am like bewildered. I just got a callback from doing cupid for someone, not like anyone volunteers to do cupid for me, but it was just a callback. So everyone lighten the fuck up. It's not a date, not my boyfriend, not anything near it. Just a guy who happens to find me very interesting, interesting enough to want to chat with me evryday at work, and whom I find extremely amusing. No one's made me laugh as much as he does everytime we work together. No one. However, he is not my boyfriend, not my booty call, and nothing near affectionate towards me. I JUST NEED TO GET FUCKING LAID OKAY. Ahem...Trusting that marriage would come later.

So I go to work, sporting the mopey look all through the day. And guess who comes in after work to dissipate the lovely cheer we were all having as we were eating lunch. Him. Cute co-worker. Him. He doesn't talk to me. I don't look at him. Ryan had given me some sensitive advice which I should have given myself a long time ago. Ignore him. I did. It hurt so much too. It felt slightly childish. But I did. The hard part about it was, there was nothing to ignore because coincidentally (yes, I am using that word for the 3rd time) he ignored me too. I was like What The Fuck? Aren't you gonna even play with me and give me the pleasure of ignoring you? Nope. He didn't He sat far away from us and cuddled and smiled with every single one on my table except yours truly. I was like, "This is not getting any easier I can tell you that?" Someone will think we've had sex already. We hadn't, and already he's ignorin me, what if we had.

His worse than Sola I swear. But at least Sola would hint to you that you should meet him up later for sex. And then ignore you. Not before. Not because I gave him my freaking number. Are we lightening the fuck up around here? I would think I de-flowered him?

This whole thing is complicating my already depressing evening. I leave the little soiree which he had already made sour and head out to Target. And guess who calls: my best friend. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

I am home now. I just wish something exciting would happen though. Like him calling, or someone calling even if it is my Ryan calling.

So I am not high. I wish I could be. It would take the edge off slightly.