Life is so topsy turvy.

As I was flipping through this journal at my old entries, I realised that the emotions and insecurites I had as of last week are all trivial to the problems I am facing this week. You'd ask, what are these problems?

As of last week, I was hitting on someone. I still am. But it is really not my priority right now. I still see him but my heart doesn't go pitter patter anymore, and most of all, I can contain my self enough to know there is a time for work relationships, and with the dangling thread of my job thinning out, this may not exactly be the time.

Yesterday, on my way to my 2nd job which is a ritual I have been going through on Fridays, I finish one job and drive off within 20 minutes to the next one, just as I was doing that, my car started to smoke and the oil gauge started to beep badly. I bought about $17 dollars worth of oil and put in it, yet still the car was now overflowing with oil but the oil gauge still kept on beeping. At this point the car stopped moving and I was thus rendered stranded and had to chug it into the nearest service station, which had the sweetest staff working there.

This whole fiasco lasted for about 2 hours and in the end my car is still parked there, and is costing me $700 to fix. Yes, $700, that is almost a 100 hours worth of work that I have to put in to make that amount of money. Now, I am driving my bro-in-law's car to at least go to work this weekend, and my car is still in the shop until whenever I can make up that amount.

This morning, my sister charged it to her credit card and told me I could pay for it instalmentally back to her when and how much I could afford. At this point in time, I am wondering, I better not lose my job or else, I can't pay that amount of money back and I shall lose both the car payments and the original amount of money that I owe her.

This was one sucky time I so didn't want my horoscope to be right. Fuck! it hurt to miss work. It hurt to have this amount of debt, and it hurt most of all because I just started driving this car about a month ago. So you can see, the problems of this week far outweigh my need to get laid, and surpass my need to satisfy a sexual itch. I have to keep my job, I have to make some more money, I have to create sopme time for myself in between all these. I just have to move forwards instead of backwards all the damn time. I have to avoid all this drama in my life somehow at some time. I have to.